Podcast Episode #37

Birth Story Spilling the Milk: Danielle

Here we are Spilling the Milk with Danielle’s Birth Story. It has been a while since our last ‘Spilling the Milk’ birth story episode on the FitNest Mama Podcast, which is why I was so excited to finally sit down again with one of the lovely FitNest Mama members Danielle to have a raw and honest chat about their birth story, and their experiences with pregnancy, childbirth, and recovery after birth.

Today I am spilling the milk with Danielle’s birth story. Danielle is mother of two boys, and the founder of White & White wedding and events consultancy which she has now been running for over 12 years. In this episode we chat about her birth story, mum life with two young children, owning a business as a mum, juggling a young child with a newborn, and Danielle’s experience with an IVF pregnancy, induction for childbirth, and a forceps delivery, as well as her post baby recovery.

Danielle shares her experience with combining work life and motherhood, as well as chatting about the differences between her first and second pregnancies, including her IVF experience, gestational diabetes, using a doula for birth, as well as her after birth recovery experiences. She shares her thoughts on why she had a different experience second time around, because although there were many similarities, there were also unique differences between her two experiences.

There can be so many benefits to hearing about a whole range of different motherhood experiences. I loved hearing about Danielle’s birth story and motherhood journey, and I hope you will love listening to it and be able to take something away with you. 

Sit back, relax, & enjoy! 

Send Kath a message and let me know what you thought of this episode!

Episode Links

Where to find Danielle:

Instagram: @Whitewhiteweddings

Website: www.whitewhite.com.au

Postnatal Return to Running program: https://www.fitnestmama.com/running

Quick Quiz:https://www.fitnestmama.com/quiz

Free Pregnancy Workshop: 3 Ways to Prepare for Labour: www.fitnestmama.com/challenge

Website:https://www.fitnestmama.com/

Instagram:@fitnestmama

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Spilling the Milk with Danielle: Birth Story

Transcription

INTRODUCTION

If you are pregnant or you’ve recently had a baby, this podcast is for you. I am your host Kath Baquie. a physiotherapist working in women’s health and mum of three. Join me each week as we dive into all things pregnancy care, childbirth, and postnatal recovery, helping you have a wonderful pregnancy and afterbirth experience. And don’t forget to hit subscribe so you don’t miss any episodes.

KATH BAQUIE

Welcome to Episode 37 of the FitNest Mama Podcast. I am your host Kath Baquie. I’m a mum of three young girls, and a physiotherapist for women.I have an online community FitNest Mama which helps to provide pregnant and new mothers with the exercises, support and resources they need to move from the overwhelm, the physical aches and pains of pregnancy, the weakness felt after birth, and instead we replaced that with the comfort and confidence they need to get their bodies and minds strong again so that they can get back to doing what they love with a bubba by their side, whether or not that’s running around with the kids at the park or running the next marathon. 

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We’re in for a treat today, as I have the honor of Spilling the Milk with Danielle. It has been a while since we have had a Spilling the Milk episode on this podcast. And every so often I’m fortunate enough to sit down with one of the lovely mums inside FitNest Mama, and we have a raw and honest chat about their experience with pregnancy, childbirth, and recovering after birth. Today I chat with Danielle White, who is not only a mum of two boys, but she’s also the founder and director of a highly regarded wedding and events consultancy White and White. Danielle began her career in a marketing role. And then she had the lightbulb moment where she knew she was meant to be an events specialist. And Danielle has now been running White and White for 12 years.

In this episode, we chat about mum life with two young children and owning a business as a mum. And Danielle shares her experience with IVF, induction and forceps as well as juggling a newborn with another child.  Stick around to the end because Danielle also shares some great advice for new mums starting their motherhood journey. But before diving in, I do want to let you know about an event that’s running really soon. And that’s the 5 Days, 5 Ways to Prepare for Labour Challenge. This challenge is about to run again at the start of June. So get your names down on the waitlist so you don’t miss out. This fun free five day challenge runs you through different ways to prepare for labour. In these five days you will learn about perineal preparation, active birth techniques, after birth recovery tips, and you will leave the five days feeling empowered and more confident about your upcoming birth. To enter this challenge head to https://www.fitnestmama.com/challenge. Right let’s get into this episode.

Danielle, thank you so much for joining me today on today’s episode of the FitNest Mama Podcast. 

DANIELLE

Thank you so much for having us. Okay I have one little boy here, Louie has decided to join us as well. 

KATH BAQUIE

So that’s gorgeous, we might have some lovely sound affects we go. So Danielle, can you please let us know a little bit about who you are. And I guess your journey to becoming pregnant and becoming a mum. 

DANIELLE

So I’m based in Brisbane, and for the last 12 years I’ve been running a wedding planning company here in Brisbane, which has been amazing. And we started our journey to be parents about six years ago. So initially we did struggle. So we went down that IVF path, we did four full rounds of IVF. And finally after that fourth round, we got our first little boy Jules, which was amazing. And it felt like a miracle child, which was great. And then let’s be honest, I thought like, you know, we weren’t gonna be able to have another one. And during COVID last year, this little one popped up. So he’s kind of a COVID surprise baby. So there you go. 

KATH BAQUIE

Like I’m not an expert in that field, but I hear that really commonly where the mother’s first baby is IVF and then the second baby is more of a surprise. Is that what you found? 

DANIELLE

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And I don’t think it was that much of a surprise to our doctor either. It was great because for me my business and my partner’s businesses… COVID wasn’t the best situation like a lot of people, and that all came to a halt. So it was actually like was really nice to have something to look forward to. He’s doing really well. And I think probably because we’re second time around, we’re not so stressed. And he honestly just fits into our life. 

KATH BAQUIE

Tell me about that. Do you notice a difference? With I guess, trying to conceive the first time versus your surprise the second time and the pregnancy? What differences did you notice between the first and second baby? Were the pregnancies a bit different?

DANIELLE

So the first one, I was a lot fitter, and I had a lot more energy than this time around. I yeah, I seem to be getting, like I had kind of this like chest infection for a lot of the pregnancy and just wasn’t the same. And then at the end, I got, I think, a late onset of mild gestational diabetes. So I was quite big as well. I put on over 20 kilograms with Louie, obviously, a lot of it was fluid and stuff like that. But with Jules, you know, I was doing workouts up until the day, he was born. So I kind of stopped all that sort of a month before. So yeah, the pregnancies were a little bit different. And the births were a little bit but the same as well. So I don’t know if we want to talk about those. 

KATH BAQUIE

You know, this ‘Spilling the Milk’ series, as I call them, we haven’t actually had one on the podcast for a while. So for those listening, if you want to dive back into the older podcast episodes, you will find a few different stories of other members of FitNest Mama, so we’d love to hear. Tell us all. We all love it. I think it’s really important to have all different sorts of birth stories, because you don’t just want to hear of the natural, you know, drug free birth stories, necessarily. I think it’s nice to have the whole range of stories whether or not there’s interventions required, pain relief. Yeah. So I have no idea what your birth story is like, we haven’t actually even talked about it. So let’s go into it. 

DANIELLE

Yeah, so the first one, I was keen to do the whole natural thing. And we’re waiting, waiting, waiting. And I was over my due date. And my doctor was actually going overseas. So I saw him on the Friday. And then on the Monday, I had actually requested to see the new doctor and have a scan just to make sure everything was fine. And within those two days, I’d lost like all fluid. So I had to almost go in for an emergency induction, which we did that night. And inductions… they’re just a whole new ballgame, I think.

So we sort of started at that night. And the next day, we sort of ramped it up and broke my waters and up the drugs, but off the drugs quite slowly. And for my first birth actually had a doula. So she was amazing, because I knew my doctor was going to be away. And I was just obsessed about birth stories and having a good birth and having support. And anyway, it was just something that I really, really wanted, and finally got it over the line and with my partner. And he was very thankful actually at the end.

So we went through induction and it was hard. I felt like I wasn’t in control anymore. I had, you know, I’d read all the books and do the classes. And I just felt like I had no methods like no technique, and nothing was happening. So he was posterior, which if anyone knows anything about posterior, it’s really painful. And the labour just didn’t progress. So we got to the afternoon and literally, nothing was happening. So I decided to have an epidural. And it was the best thing I think I could have done. The baby turned and I dilated completely within an hour. The doctor actually said “look everyone’s going to have dinner, you’re going to have a bit of a rest. And I’m going to come back and you’re going to start pushing”. And that was that.

KATH BAQUIE

Just to backtrack. Was this your first baby. 

DANIELLE

That was the first.

KATH BAQUIE

Okay. And did you have the sensation that you needed to push? When the time came?

DANIELLE

I didn’t know. No, I didn’t know it was time to push. No… She had to tell me.  The epidural wasn’t that strong. So I actually felt when he came through, I felt everything. It was hard to push to be honest and to know when to push and we ended up doing forceps for the first baby, which is fine at that point, you just want them out. I don’t really care what method it’s gonna happen. Oh, [baby crying] et’s see if I can settle him. And then the second baby, we decided that we would go in for an induction, a scheduled induction because I was a little bit older and the risks… I felt that I wanted to go early this time. I didn’t want to push it out.  Which was very different to the first time, but in that time that I’ve had the baby, we just had close acquaintance we knew that lost a baby quite late in the pregnancy. And I don’t know, it was just something that I just wanted to go early. Like, and I think with the diabetes, and everything it was actually a good move. I kind of needed to get him out, I think, so we did an induction that time. 

And once they broke my waters for Louis, I felt that pain again in my back that the posterior kind of pain, and I decided at that point that I was going to have an epidural, do this and to meet him and to be done.  Almost be done with my whole journey. becoming a mother, I just wanted to have the baby and not think about it anymore. Yeah, so I had the epidural. And then within four hours, I had Louis, and it was the most blissful birth ever. And the recovery was great as well. And yeah, it was just everything second time round seems easier. From the you know, the time in the hospital to cluster feeding seems easier this time, to the night… seem easier. I don’t know, it’s just nice doing it twice. I can imagine it would be nice,, you know, pretty easy third time around.

KATH BAQUIE

Poor baby gets forgotten.

DANIELLE

I can imagine. I think it’s really nice for women to hear that who have perhaps had their first baby. And I do speak to a lot of women who tell me “I don’t know, I can’t imagine having a second because it was so tricky”, or you know, so many obstacles first time round. Look, every experience is different, and everyone is different. And some women do find their second more challenging, but learning more along the way, like you’re a seasoned Mama. And there might be some challenges, but then other things you’ll find easier, like what you experienced, in terms of the feeding and the settling, you’ve already got quite a few techniques up your sleeve, whereas you might find it really hard with the juggle… with the toddler or your other child in tow. So it’s good hearing lots of different experiences, because there’s no one experiences.

DANIELLE

No, yeah, I do say like, he feels easier. But as you said, I am doing things a bit differently. So particularly with that settling, like Louis seems to be able to go to sleep by himself, whereas our first child still can’t sleep.

So just little things like that. I think you don’t really you’re not aware, but you are doing things a little bit different. So that’s probably why you’re getting a different outcome. 

KATH BAQUIE

It’s interesting, isn’t it? Okay, so can we go back to the childbirth? You mentioned that your recovery was easier second time round? Can you put your finger on any things that were different? Or can you put your finger on anything that might have helped with your recovery second time round?

DANIELLE

Well, I think both times I did Pilates in the lead up, which was great, because I think that that really helped as well. Maybe because I was used to, you know, had gone through everything before. And maybe too because I had another one. So I couldn’t stop. I did try to rest as much as I could and stuff like that. But at the same time, I still have to pick him up from kindy. And I still have to get him up in the morning and stuff like that. So it could have just been a bit of a psychological thing that you don’t really have time to think about it too much. 

KATH BAQUIE

Did you have forceps for your second birth? 

DANIELLE

No, I didn’t, no. 

KATH BAQUIE

And what did you find difficult with the first recovery? What was it that you found harder? 

DANIELLE

I think just like with everyone, it was just the sleep deprivation, I think, the cluster feeding. So I really struggled. The first one seemed to be like a smaller baby and need more food. And I I was kind of mix feeding him at the beginning and sort of throughout the first year. Whereas the second one seems to be fine. Like he’s quite big, chunky, and he seems to be able to last on reserves. And I can leave him longer periods of time. Whereas I felt like as soon as I left the house, the first one he would be crying for food, even if I just fed him. Yeah, I don’t know. Yeah, but I think definitely being fit that really helps. So try and do as much as you can in the lead up is really helpful. Also a jump on your membership as well. And I refreshed everything just before I had the weeks I almost thought like I forgotten everything. So it was nice to go back and listen to a few of your master classes with some of your guests which are great actually. You had a doula one and one about the TENS machine for labour, and preparing for induction for birth and stuff like that. So I could actually, because I knew this one was having an induction, so I thought right, okay, I’m going to actually like yeah, accept that I’m having an induction birth and find out if there’s other things I can be doing or just getting my mind ready, I guess. 

KATH BAQUIE

Oh, that’s great to hear. So for those who are listening that don’t know, inside FitNest Mama, there’s different modules. There’s pregnancy preparation & support one, and there’s a childbirth preparation one, as well  as an after birth recovery and support module. The childbirth preparation module takes you through different phases of childbirth, like different stages of labor, the TENS machine, active birth techniques. But we also have guest speakers that have, over the time that the memberships been around. So there’s someone chatting about hypnobirthing, there’s one on calmbirthing, there’s one on induction, we’ve got some great guest speakers who have come along the way, and they’re all available inside the FitNest Mama Memberships. And that’s what Danielle is talking about. Thank you, Danielle. Okay, so that is really great to hear that you just in general, it sounds like you found the second baby and experience more relaxing, maybe or maybe less relaxing, because you’re probably still sleep deprived. But you had a great experience second time around. So how old is Louie now?

DANIELLE

Just over four months. So yeah, what would be one of the biggest surprises.. about being a mum of two, when Jules came up to the hospital what I had Louis, kind of like hit me then, that I was going to be a mum of two boys. And it was actually incredible. Like, I just felt like, double in love, which I didn’t think would happen. And I think finding you know, activities have both of them, as well, that we can do as a family. So finding things we can do as a family has been great. We still spend a lot of time with our first, with Jules, so we do a lot of his activities, but finding something that they can both do, because I think that’s the problem is he’s not number one anymore. So he gets a bit jealous and stuff like that. So it’s finding activities that we can all do. And we’ll have a great time too. There are stuff we do like, on a Sunday, we’ll go the markets together. And there’s always something that we could you know, we always go for a walk and run and then do the playground and the markets and you know, everyone’s kind of happy. This is your life. Now, you know, your whole life is family. So I don’t I didn’t really answer your question.

KATH BAQUIE

No, not like that. And I guess you’ve got a business and it’s a busy business. So you’re a wedding planner. Is that right? And things have opened up now in Brisbane? Is that right? So weddings are going for it? Because I’m sure there’s a lot of mums here that are juggling blending work. I’m not never sure what to call it, because I seriously feel like motherhood is a juggle at times. And then other times it’s a lovely blend. But how do you find the whole working plus young children situation? How are you managing all that?

DANIELLE

To be honest, it is, it’s really difficult. And last time, yeah, the business was started growing really rapidly. So there was no time off. But I did have help, obviously, in the business, which helped. And then I think four months, I’ve got a babysitter. This time around, we have all the COVID weddings that we’re supposed to do last year. So I would have liked to do a little bit differently, a bit of a break. But because we had the COVID weddings booked in, I felt like I had to really execute those. So it’s been a pretty hectic first four months, then we’ve got a couple to go. And then I’m, as I mentioned before, we jumped on, I’m taking like six months off to have a break, really, because I really feel like with me and the babies, the first three months, I’m running on adrenaline, but then all of a sudden my levels like have become feel quite depleted. I think that’s around that like the four to six month postnatal mark. So that’s what happened last year or last time. So I just thought, well, this time, I’ll try to make a conscious effort not to be working so I can kind of recover from birth. So I did feel like I probably should have had some time off last time. So yeah, so that’s my plan. And yeah, we’ll see how it goes. But it’s not easy. Like I wouldn’t say it’s easy, but I try to be positive. So I think with work it makes you have to keep going.  You have to turn up, you have to answer that email. You have to be onsite at that wedding… Yeah, it pushes you but then sometimes you need to be pushed, like sometimes you need to have a purpose other than your baby. 

KATH BAQUIE

well, it’s so great that you’re recognizing that you need to back off and you’re putting that plan into place. I guess before all crashes down around you.  Not that it will, but it’s so good that you’re recognizing that you need that. So talking about your afterbirth recovery… you’re busy. You’ve got a really young second child, four year old and a six month old and you’ve got a business … how are you going to think about your postnatal rehab? Are you going to concentrate on your rehab at all and getting stronger? And how are you going to do that?

DANIELLE

What I did what did I do? I started walking straight away. So I do like walking and so that’s been great.

KATH BAQUIE

You know about a 12 week return to running program, don’t you? I do. I actually looked into it. But I always said I couldn’t start till six months or something.

KATH BAQUIE

Three, three months or three months. 

DANIELLE

Okay. Yeah, I looked into when he was like a baby or hadn’t even been born. 

KATH BAQUIE

So just get started when you want. Ah, we’ll talk about that off air. 

DANIELLE

Okay, yeah, that’s good. I have been doing Pilates so I have been doing Pilates which was great because I just wanted to move my body and stuff like that. It’s just finding the time I guess, especially with like, you always prioritize work over exercise. I decided to join a cycling / boxing place. Yeah. Which is great. So it was like the Soul Cycle kind of cycling the dark with like, heaps of amazing like 80s music, and then boxing, which I haven’t really never done, but I just wanted to do something for myself and do something different. And something which I really look forward to. And I really look forward to these sessions because they are really uplifting. Yeah, so I’ll be doing that as well. Just taking it slow, but also not doing nothing, you know?

KATH BAQUIE

Yeah. And I think that’s a key, isn’t it? It’s amazing that you are listening to your body, you’re not trying to rush your postnatal recovery, and you’re just taking you know, one step at a time, and you’re finding something that really works with you and your lifestyle. So that’s brilliant. Danielle, to finish up, what advice would you give to other pregnant or new mums?

DANIELLE

Educate yourself on you know, everything from birth and after birth and stuff like that. So you’re mentally prepared, I think there’s so many great resources out there, you know, especially your FitNest Mama membership, which, for someone like me, who is very, like, information is everything. And I feel like you know, I can do anything as long as I’m, you know, equipped with the information ahead. That’s great. And also, I’m a big believer in like, you know, exercise. So you know, healthy body healthy mind, I think that’s really important in the lead up. But also, once you had a baby, you need that sort of endorphin hit, you need that time to yourself, even if it’s just going for a walk with the baby, you know, it’s just so incredibly important and so important to make that time for yourself. Because you know, half an hour can just mean the world, you know, it can transform your day, and set you up for the day or the night.

KATH BAQUIE

Absolutely. And we know how linked physical and mental health is as well, and how interrelated and yeah, I couldn’t have briefed you better! Not that I did. But that was amazing. Okay, so Danielle, if anyone’s wanting to find you, where can they find you on Instagram?

DANIELLE

Well, if you’re looking for a wedding planner, my Instagram is white, white weddings. And yeah, that’s where we put most of our images and stuff like that. And just through there, you can access through the website. But yeah, if you’re getting married in Brisbane and need some help on here.

KATH BAQUIE

And do you want to tell everyone about what you’ve got in the pipeline? So if you’re not in Brisbane, did you want to break that to the world?

DANIELLE

I am planning on launching the wedding School, which is an online wedding planning and styling program, it will be based around sort of 60 days boot camp or most and I’m there along the way as your sort of virtual planner, helping you you know, select your venues and your suppliers and pull together your you know, your vision for the day and then be prepared for the day off. So really targeting those couples that want to do it themselves, but just need a little bit of help along the way. Yeah. So excited. Yeah, really into that.

KATH BAQUIE

Well Enjoy your six months off, and I hope you don’t end up working through it. Thank you so much for joining me today. Danielle. It was lovely to chat and hear about your experience as a mum of two. It was lovely. Thank you so much for coming on the show today.

DANIELLE

Well, thank you so much for having me and I really enjoying your podcast. I think it’s amazing. And keep going. It’s a savior. Yeah, at times. It’s really important to have, you know to have those conversations. 

KATH BAQUIE

Aw, that’s great to hear. Okay, thanks, Danielle. 

Before I sign off, remember my team and I will be putting together the Show Notes for this episode with all the links at www.FitNestMama.com/podcast including how to connect with Danielle’s business white and white. In this link, you’ll also see how to join our free five days,  five ways to prepare for labour challenge. Have a fabulous day everyone and I look forward to you joining me next week for another episode of the FitNest Mama Podcast.

Thanks for listening to the FitNest Mama podcast brought to you by the FitNest Mama freebies found at www.fitnestmama.com/free so please take a few seconds to leave a review, subscribe so you don’t miss an episode. And be sure to take a screenshot of this podcast upload it to your social media and tag me https://www.instagram.com/fitnestmama so I can give you a shout out too.  Until next time remember an active pregnancy, confident childbirth, and strong postnatal recovery is something that you deserve. Remember our disclaimer materials and contents in these podcasts are intended as general information only, and shouldn’t substitute any medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. I’ll see you soon!

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